For most brides to be, a bachelorette party offers one last chance to get together with her girlfriends, dance to some nostalgic tunes, down some cosmos, and feast on various penis-shaped confections.
Some gals go the strip club route, while many prefer that the dongs remain in cake and confetti form.
Of course, the Duggars don’t believe in dancing, secular music, alcohol, or any form of sexual activity that doesn’t take place between a man and wife for the purpose of making babies.
So when Hannah Wissmann was planning her bachelorette party — well, her options were decidedly limited.
Hannah is engaged to Jeremiah Duggar, and while the couple has been keeping their wedding details under wraps, it seems that the big day is fast approaching.
On Thursday, Hannah took to Instagram to share her excitement with fans as completes last minute details ahead of her bachelorette shindig.
It seems that the party will be a weekend-long affair, but that doesn’t mean the ladies will be getting rowdy.
No, when single fundie bridesmaids have a sleepover, it’s got less to do with avoiding DUIs than with making sure the bride doesn’t break down by begging her fiance to stop by for a quick front hug.
So Hannah’s guests began arriving yesterday, and the party’s gonna go all weekend!
Or, ya know … at least until 8 pm on Saturday night when the partiers will turn in so that they can be well-rested for a long day of worship!
Hannah hails from Nebraska, but it seems that guests will be pouring in from several states, including, of course, Arkansas, where the Duggars make their home.
It’s unclear what sort of festivities will be involved, but an Instagram user who goes by the handle KansasHouseWife revealed that all guests will be required to rock formal attire at some point.
While it would be fun to imagine everyone getting all dressed up for some weird, pre-nuptial fundie ceremony where they sacrifice a virgin goat or something, the ladies will probably just be sitting down for a fancy dinner or something.
As for how they’ll entertain themselves the rest of the weekend — specifics are hard to come by, but you can bet the whole thing will be wholesome AF.
Folks at the always-amusing subreddit r/DuggarSnark have been having a fun time imagining the family friendly festivities:
“Fundie Bachelorette party ideas: Toast the bride-to-be with juice served in martini glasses,” one redditor wrote.
“I wonder what they’re going to do at a bachelorette party.Take shots of sparkling grace juice and pretend to be tipsy while giggling about boy,” another commented.
“They’ll go all out with paint your own pottery AND paint your own canvases: maybe throw in making T-Shirts and Jewelry,” a third suggested.
Others imagined what sort of presents Hannah might have registered for ahead of her big day.
“Bridal Shower Registry: 2 x twin-sized sheets for bunk bed,” one user joked.
Yes, it can certainly be fun to mock the Duggar family and their misogynistic, oppressive beliefs …
And we encourage everyone to continue doing so! What, you thought we were gonna stick up for those weirdos?!